As you know if you glanced at yesterday’s post, inKera is live for preorder at Amazon at a special celebratory price of $0.99, which will be the price until January. You know, I didn’t quite realize this at first, but the fox plus one cub image actually suits Vayu as well as Lisig — she has her baby, but Vayu has his little brother, so that’s appropriate for both of them. I didn’t do that on purpose, but it’s handy!
Your suggestions are generally helpful, so this is the version of the back cover description that is up now, but I imagine it can probably be improved …
In the world of TUYO, two novellas of building a new life.
LISIG
Lisig has already achieved the impossible: taken her baby daughter and escaped from the inTasiyo.
Among the inKera, everything seems different. Safety might demand an unbearable cost—or kindness might be freely offered. A new marriage might offer Lisig and her daughter belonging she never guessed might be possible—if she can learn to trust her new people.
VAYU
Vayu knows exactly why he left the inTasiyo. Understanding whether he actually belongs among the inKera is harder.
Among his new people, Vayu would rather keep his head down, look after his younger brother, and avoid attracting anyone’s attention. But skill brings expectations, taking action may be unavoidable, and sometimes refusing to step forward is a choice of its own.
Two separate but connected stories about family, trust, responsibility, and finding a place among new people.
***
Comments? Suggestions?
I’m really trying to finish Vayu’s novella this week, btw. I think there might be 1.67 chapters to go, but it might be redefined as 2.33 chapters to go, depending on how I break up the chapters. There are thirteen chapters right now, but I dislike ending on an odd number (it’s a quirk, what can I say) and 13 seems especially unesthetic, so I’m thinking of breaking one chapter in half. This would be chapter 6 turning into chapters 6 and 7, and yes, that means that there is a hole in the middle of the novella. The other unfinished chapter is the (hopefully short!) falling action chapter at the end. It’s hard to believe I wouldn’t be finished with it by the end of the week, unless I suddenly realize yet another chapter is missing!
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Hooray! Looking forward to Vayu’s story. The description sounds great, too.
For Lisig, I suggest replacing the final ‘might’:
“A new marriage might offer Lisig and her daughter belonging she never guessed **to be/could be** possible—if she can learn to trust her new people.”
And I think the 2nd sentence could flow better/the contrast could be sharper, though I’m not quite sure what to suggest there. Possibly the second part could be a question? (reflecting Lisig’s incredulity). Or maybe just rephrased…
E.g. “Safety might demand an unbearable cost—or might kindness be freely offered?”
“Safety might demand an unbearable cost—or could kindness actually be freely offered?”
“Safety might demand an unbearable cost—or kindness might truly be freely offered.”
So excited!
I think having two sentences with dashes back to back in Lisig’s description keeps them from having the desired impact. I think the dash in the second sentence (“A new marriage…) could be replaced with a comma in order to protect the impact of the first sentence, which seems stronger to me.