I stumbled across this a few weeks ago and found it fun and intriguing:
Who Killed the Plan?
by Amos Russel Wells
Who killed the Plan?
“I,” said the Critic,
“I knew how to hit it,
I killed the Plan.”Who killed the Plan?
“I,” the Bore said,
“I talked it dead,
I killed the Plan.”Who killed the Plan?
“I,” said the Sloth,
“I lagged and was loth.
And I killed the Plan.”Who killed the Plan?
“I,” said Ambition,
“With my selfish vision
I killed the Plan.”Who killed the Plan?
“I,” said the Crank,
“With my nonsense rank
I killed the Plan.”
*****
Who was Amos Russel Wells? An author who was born 1862 and died in 1933. He wrote 63 works of various sorts, according to Wikipedia. This entry is very short. It’s hard to see how many of these “works” were individual poems and how many might have been other types of works.
What does this poem remind me of? Well, of course this English nursery rhyme. I haven’t the slightest idea where I saw it first, probably in some sort of children’s book of nursery rhymes.
“Who killed Cock Robin?” “I,” said the Sparrow,
“With my bow and arrow, I killed Cock Robin.”
“Who saw him die?” “I,” said the Fly,
“With my little eye, I saw him die.”
“Who caught his blood?” “I,” said the Fish,
“With my little dish, I caught his blood.”
“Who’ll make the shroud?” “I,” said the Beetle,
“With my thread and needle, I’ll make the shroud.”
“Who’ll dig his grave?” “I,” said the Owl,
“With my pick and shovel, I’ll dig his grave.”
“Who’ll be the parson?” “I,” said the Rook,
“With my little book, I’ll be the parson.”
“Who’ll be the clerk?” “I,” said the Lark,
“If it’s not in the dark, I’ll be the clerk.”
“Who’ll carry the link?” “I,” said the Linnet,
“I’ll fetch it in a minute, I’ll carry the link.”
“Who’ll be chief mourner?” “I,” said the Dove,
“I mourn for my love, I’ll be chief mourner.”
“Who’ll carry the coffin?” “I,” said the Kite,
“If it’s not through the night, I’ll carry the coffin.”
“Who’ll bear the pall? “We,” said the Wren,
“Both the cock and the hen, we’ll bear the pall.”
“Who’ll sing a psalm?” “I,” said the Thrush,
“As she sat on a bush, I’ll sing a psalm.”
“Who’ll toll the bell?” “I,” said the bull,
“Because I can pull, I’ll toll the bell.”
All the birds of the air fell a-sighing and a-sobbing,
When they heard the bell toll for poor Cock Robin.
*****
Maybe that’s it, but I almost think I have something else in the back of my brain, the same type of repeated “Who did the thing?” with a series of answers.
UPDATE: Click through to the comments; I added a great poem there after Elaine T reminded me of it.
Anyway, I tripped over another poem by Amos Russel Wells that’s particularly suitable for February:
Some Questions for Saint Valentine’s Day
Why Sir Cupid do you choose For your happy festival Just the bleakest month of all? Rosy June why don't you use, Or the dainty fingered May, Or some jocund August day? "It's because I want to show How against dear Love's sweet reign Harshest seasons rage in vain; Ice and sleet and blinding snow But the blustering captives are, Chained to her triumphal car." Then, Sir Cupid, prithee tell Why your merry day should fall In the shortest month of all? Is your wonder-working spell As distinctly fugitive As the month in which you live? "Stay in shame your slanderous tongue! It is I, and none but I, Make this month so quickly fly. Lovers' time is ever young; And this month, were I not here, Were the longest of the year!"
Please Feel Free to Share:
Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?
(Not me!)
Well, my first thought was: oh, it’s like The House that Jack Built ->The Theory that Jack Built(from Space-Child’s Mother Goose), but using the Cock Robin nursery rhyme. So I can definitely say Frederick Windsor did that sort of thing. So did Lewis Carroll, but we only remember his versions, these days.
OH, I think it WAS The Theory that Jack Built! And it turns out you can find this online:
This is the Theory Jack built.
This is the Flaw
That lay in the Theory Jack built.
This is the Mummery
Hiding the Flaw
That lay in the Theory Jack built.
This is the Summary
Based on the Mummery
Hiding the Flaw
That lay in the Theory Jack built.
This is Constant K
That saved the Summary
Based on the Mummery
Hiding the Flaw
That lay in the Theory Jack built.
This is the Erudite Verbal Haze
Cloaking Constant K
That saved the Summary
Based on the Mummery
Hiding the Flaw
That lay in the Theory Jack built.
This is the Turn of a Plausible Phrase
That thickened the Erudite Verbal Haze
Cloaking Constant K
That saved the Summary
Based on the Mummery
Hiding the Flaw
That lay in the Theory Jack built.
This is Chaotic Confusion and Bluff
That hung on the Turn of a Plausible Phrase
And thickened the Erudite Verbal Haze
Cloaking Constant K
That saved the Summary
Based on the Mummery
Hiding the Flaw
That lay in the Theory Jack built.
This is the Cybernetics and Stuff
That covered Chaotic Confusion and Bluff
That hung on the Turn of a Plausible Phrase
And thickened the Erudite Verbal Haze
Cloaking Constant K
That saved the Summary
Based on the Mummery
Hiding the Flaw
That lay in the Theory Jack built.
This is the Button to start the Machine
To make with the Cybernetics and Stuff
To cover Chaotic Confusion and Bluff
That hung on the Turn of a Plausible Phrase
And thickened the Erudite Verbal Haze
Cloaking Constant K
That saved the Summary
Based on the Mummery
Hiding the Flaw
That lay in the Theory Jack built.
This is the Space-Child with Brow Serene
Who pushed the Button to start the Machine
That made with the Cybernetics and Stuff
Without Confusion, exposing the Bluff
That hung on the Turn of a Plausible Phrase
And, Shredding the Erudite Verbal Haze
Cloaking Constant K,
Wrecked the Summary
Based on the Mummery
Hiding the Flaw
And Demolished the Theory Jack built.
Space Child’s Mother Goose! That was a favorite of my nerdy college friends long ago!
Flappity floppy flip
The mouse on the moebius strip
The strip revolved
And the mouse dissolved
In a chronodimensional skip
Or
Probable possible my black hen
She lays eggs in the relative when
She can’t lay eggs in the positive now
Because she’s unable to postulate how
Well, those are much cooler than the cookie jar rhyme (≧◡≦)
Off to look up Space Child’s Mother Goose
I have a copy, she says smugly. I used to be able to recite the Theory that Jack built from memory, along with most of the others. Except some of the black hen variations – they were in Chinese, Swahili, Greek, Egyptian… at least it was Egyptian style hieroglyphs with a black chicken amongst the imagery.
The Hydrogen Dog and the Cobalt Cat
Side by side in the armory sat
Nobody thought of fusion or fission,
Everyone spoke of their peace time mission..
…something something… in a fog..
…till someone came and opened the door,
then they mushroomed up with a terrible roar
And nobody never was there no more.
The Theory that Jack Built makes me think of that old saw: for want of a nail, the shoe was lost…
The only Space Child Mother Goose poem I memorized was one of OtterB’s — Possible Probable my black hen …
Honestly, The Theory that Jack Built ought to be posted on the wall of every single science classroom in the country. Look, children, do not stupidly hide flaws in an erudite verbal haze. I bet this poem taught me the word “erudite.”
And now I’m thinking that I’ve seen a variant on For Want of a Nail, and naturally I can’t remember what that was. Maybe now someone will remind me of that!
You weren’t reading/reciting it to a small child day in and day out for days. I memorized quite a few kids books back in the day. Space Child and When the Sky is like Lace are still my favorites, though.
“On a bimulous night, the sky is like lace. Do you know how it is on a bimulous night when the sky is like lace? It doesn’t happen often, but when it does — KA-BOOM!
And everything is strange-splendid and plum purple… …the trees dance the eucalyptus back and forth, forth and back, swishing and swaying, in the fern-deep grove at the midnight end of the garden.