Adding an extract of RIHASI to MARAG

Okay, so I do like to add an extract of an upcoming book if possible.

The odd thing here is that, after adding the first bit of chapter one, I went back and instead added the first bit of chapter two. This is because the story opens in Rihasi’s point of view, and this chapter sets the stage, but it’s not as much fun as the first part of chapter two, which is in the male lead’s pov and shows him meeting Rihasi. At this moment, she is disguised as a young man, and the reader probably knows that, and I think this is just a fun thing to include in the extract.

Also! I’m writing the back cover copy and including it there.

Here’s the back cover description:

Rihasi Gerogevet has a serious problem. She knows just who can help her solve it: Lord Aras Eren Samaura, the king’s sorcerer and scepter-holder. But Gaur is a long, long way away from Saraicana, and getting there safely isn’t going to be easy. Especially as a lot of people are going to be truly committed to making sure she doesn’t get there at all.

Kior Voeret has a serious problem – and a serious secret. The absolute last person he wants to face is Lord Aras Eren Samaura. But he can’t let a naïve, inexperienced young man get himself killed on the road. That’s all right: he doesn’t have to commit to going all the way to the scepter-holder’s doorstep himself. He can walk away long before they get close enough for Lord Aras to glimpse anything unfortunate.

It’ll be fine.

Really.

***

There you go. What do you think? I think that’s pretty good, but I’m betting a couple of you can make suggestions that will tighten it up.

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9 thoughts on “Adding an extract of RIHASI to MARAG”

  1. That back cover description sounds interesting!
    And I agree, the extract does not have to be the exact start of the book; choosing a more enticing snippet is perfectly fine, and introducing both main characters would be an important consideration.
    Setting the scene in the world is important in a first chapter, but not so much for someone who has just finished reading a whole story in that world – you know for sure they are already somewhat familiar with it. Even if Marag is set entirely in Ugaro lands, and Rihasi in Lau lands, though that might mean you need to mention tge different setting in the introduction to the exerpt.

    Totally off topic, as a person who likes dogs, you might like a quick look at this: https://zette.blogspot.com/2024/02/flash-fiction-603-dogs-dictionary-of.html?m=1
    I’d heard of “Oh, squirrel!” being used as shorthand for distractibleness, is that what this is?

  2. Thanks, Hanneke!

    Related, but this is emphasizing that everything small and furry looks alike to a dog. Which … is mildly amusing, I guess. But since dogs pay a lot more attention to scents than sights, they obviously do not actually think a cat is a squirrel, though dogs with high prey drive may be happy to kill both.

    As a side note, puppy Haydee and young cat Maximilian are buddies indoors and out.

  3. I love the “It’ll be fine. Really.” bit. Because of course it’s not going to go to plan. And it reads like Kior is trying to reassure himself.

    Looking forward to it!!!

  4. I differ from Kathryn M – I like the “serious problem – and a serious secret” phrasing. I think it still works as parallelism; it’s just not as strict.

    Incidentally, how do you pronounce “Voeret”? I’m reading silently, but my eye is tripping up. VO-ee-ret? VAY-ret? VO-ret? Vo-ee-RET?

    Personally, I’d find it easier if it was “Veoret”. That – to me – can only be said Vay-OH-ret or Vee-OH-ret, and therefore getting a fix is easier. But I’m not sure whether this can be done in the Lau naming convention – can an o follow an e?

  5. I’ve decided I like the “serious secret” phrasing partly because of the stricter parallelism, and partly because Kior’s problem is actually straightforward, until he gets involved with Rihasi.

    I like the way “Voeret” looks on the page, and it’s parallel in spelling to “Hoeren,” which you may remember is Kerren’s father’s name. “Hoeren” is pronounced basically “Hoe-ren,” so quite simple and basically the “e” is silent. “Voeret” would be basically “Voe-ret” or “Vo-ret.”

    BUT there is not the slightest need to worry about it because we only see that name about twice, because — spoiler! — it’s not Kior’s real name. Neither is “Kior.”

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