Living Wills for a Zombie Apocalypse:

From, this:

As a fan of fantasy and horror, you probably believe that you would survive should any of the nightmare scenarios you read about—zombie plagues, invading demons, vampire boyfriends—come to pass. Why, with your knowledge, you should be the hero of such a story!

But what if it doesn’t work out that way? What if you are bitten or possessed? How can you be sure to receive the care you want? While there are many guides available for creating advance directives (or living wills) in the case of natural illness or incapacitation, this guide will prepare you to address the most common preternatural threats and reclaim what control you have in a chaotic world. In each case, you may select from the options given or write in your own choices. May this be useful in making your decisions known should the worst come to pass.

I have to say, I was certainly smiling by this point. Okay, sure, let’s see what clauses the thoughtful pessimist might include in a will in case of a zombie apocalypse …

Section I: Choosing your proxy

Your proxy is the individual authorized to make important decisions on your behalf should you be unable to do so. This should be someone who knows you well, whom you would trust with your life, and who fears neither the dark corners of the world nor the unnamed terrors that dwell therein. This individual should have the mental and physical strength to kill you if need arises, with access to appropriate weaponry, like silver bullets, consecrated swords, or a pump-action shotgun. Your proxy should create their own advance directive as well.

My reaction: if you have a friend like that, maybe you won’t need a living will. Sounds like a great person to team up with: they can be the hero of the story and you can be a secondary character (the kind who is too important to be killed, preferably).

Many good tidbits in the ensuing post. Here’s one of my favorites:

In the case of supernatural madness, I choose that journals documenting my ramblings, as well as any unusual, ancient, or ineffably ugly artifacts found in my effects, be:

  • destroyed.
  • boxed and sent to my next of kin.
  • other — specify:

As you can see, many of the options provided in this possible living will encourage a sequel.

I guess in the Black Dog world, legal provisions like this might actually be sensible….

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1 thought on “Living Wills for a Zombie Apocalypse:”

  1. Surely, before “other” should be “sent to Miskatonic U., Dept of Gnosis, for further study.”
    And “donated to the Cult of Cthullu”
    After all, one might not be entirely sane even at the time of writing a living will.

    The CDC occasionally has a “zombie apocalypse preparedness” event. Why not the ABA, too?

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