That’s it’s ideal to use another phrase of poetry from John Donne if I possibly can, AND that it would be nice if this line fits neatly into a stanza of the preceding titles. Also that while it might be good to imply redemption, I don’t want to give too much away and should not use that word outright.
So here we go: half a dozen possibilities, each time with the first three titles shown so that you can judge how well each line feeds into the next and whether the fourth line seems to fit smoothly into place.
In this first example, the last phrase is in fact from St. Lucy’s Day, which makes it ideal in possibly more than one way.
- The Year’s Midnight
- Of Absence, Darkness
- As Shadow, A Light
- My Sun Renew
Here’s another:
- The Year’s Midnight
- Of Absence, Darkness
- As Shadow, A Light
- This Hour My Vigil
In this case, I’ve changed “her” to “my.” What do you think? Is it okay to change a word? I would rather not, but it makes a pretty good line, so I’m not sure.
How about this next one? This time the line is drawn from a different Donne poem called “At the Round Earth’s Imagined Corners,” which is a great name, I have to add.
- The Year’s Midnight
- Of Absence, Darkness
- As Shadow, A Light
- Arise From Death
Or it could equally be:
- The Year’s Midnight
- Of Absence, Darkness
- As Shadow, A Light
- Arise, Arise From Death
Same source for the last line:
- The Year’s Midnight
- Of Absence, Darkness
- As Shadow, A Light
- ‘Tis Late to Ask
I don’t think that fits as well, but I sort of like it.
Here’s another, this time with the line drawn from “A Hymn to God the Father”
- The Year’s Midnight
- Of Absence, Darkness
- As Shadow, A Light
- Shines Now, and Heretofore
One more, this time from “Good Friday 1613”
- The Year’s Midnight
- Of Absence, Darkness
- As Shadow, A Light
- Restore Thine Image
Okay! Please pick your favorite OR condemn all of these and I’ll try again.
Please Feel Free to Share:
I like “My sun renew”
My vote is for “My sun renew”. There’s something very positive about that.
I really like “This Hour My Vigil” as it continues the theme of time from “The Year’s Midnight”, as well as a sense of standing alone but for a purpose. No problems at all with the changed pronoun!
“My Sun Renew” would be my second choice, which also goes in thematically with the shift from darkness to light.
I like Shines Now, and heretofore.
I’m against Arise from Death and its variant — what with the series title, Death is too closely linked to Tenai.
My favorite is is Shines Now, and Heretofore. This Hour My Vigil is a close second, despite the slightly further distance from light imagery — and I don’t care about the pronoun change at all. But I could see any of the others working as a title, really.
Craig, you’re right. Strike the ones with “death” in the line.
My Sun Renew
But also like Shines Now a lot.
“My Sun Renew” would be my pick–in the other titles you have Midnight, Darkness, Shadow, and Light, so the “Sun” in that one fits best thematically, I think. “Shine Now, and Heretofore” also works thematically, but for me personally, it doesn’t ring as nicely in the ear as “My Sun Renew.”
“My Sun Renew”
“My Sun Renew”
“My Sun Renew” or “This Hour My Vigil”, which second title fits with the theme of the first book’s “The Year’s Midnight”, and which seems thematically appropriate.
Another one who likes My Sun Renew as a title. Shines Now perhaps finishes off the stanza a little better?
My Sun Renew or This Hour My Vigil, depending on the themes of the story. This Hour My Vigil implies more work on the part of the person needing redemption; My Sun Renew implies maybe more external grace/forgiveness
The Sun Renew is also nice. I like Heretofore Bc I think it implies he shone at one time, there was a period where he does not, but will again from now on. The Sun renews every day. Unless my interpretation is incorrect. They are all lovely titles.