This is a funny and possibly even helpful post about writing descriptive blurbs for your book:
_______(Main Character name) is a ____________. She lives in ________ and what she wants most in the world is _________. But that’s not possible because ________. So she did ______. Well, that didn’t work out very well because_______ and ______. Then along came _________. He/she/they did ___________ and __________ and ______. That made things even worse because _________. Now it looked like _______(Main Character name) would never get what she wanted. But then, one day, __________happened. Would _______ (Main Character name) finally find the __________ she was seeking? This _________(tone of book, i.e. suspenseful, gripping, lyrical, etc.) story of _________(type of story, i.e. intrigue, mystery, romance, etc.), captures the spirit of ___________ (setting or tone) and confirms the power of _______ (theme or message).
It’s funny because it’s so ridiculous. But, as the author of this post suggests, it’s possibly helpful because it can kick the author our of a helpless gazing-at-the-blank-page and get him or her moving toward an actually usable blurb: Of course — of course — this is not the final book blurb. But it shifted the author out of frustration mode and put her in marketing mode. It gave her a new, clear, simple way to think about her book. It was just goofy enough to wipe out her “marketing writer’s block” and open up her floodgates of creativity.
I can see how it would work that way, at least potentially, some of the time.
Also, even if it’s not the least bit useful for you, it’s still funny.