How to survive the zombie apocalypse

This was the title of the best — most entertaining, anyway — student “process” paper I’ve ever seen. (I don’t spend a lot of time working with English students, actually, but the occasional paper makes a nice break from math and chemistry.)

Most students write a process essay about how to braid their daughter’s hair, how to gig frogs (that was a pretty good one, partly because it was so unexpected from the well-dressed older woman who wrote it), how to win at poker, and, of course, the ever-popular how to make chocolate chip cookies. (Many instructors won’t allow recipes, and no wonder, because great as recipes can be, students seldom turn them into great papers.)

Well, the zombie apocalypse paper sprang to mind when I saw this: Sam Sheridan Gives Survival Tips for Characters in Disaster Movies — a post over at Omnivoracious.

It’s a fun post! You should check it out! What do you think, though, is it fair to say that the protagonist should leap into a speedboat and head out toward a tsunami? I’m pretty sure that would not have occurred to me.

Sometimes, though, don’t you find yourself just DYING to yell advice to a character on the big screen? For me it wasn’t a disaster movie, it was “Scream.” You know that scene at the beginning, where the girl in the house is on the phone with the killer? I couldn’t STAND it. I was all like, Put the phone down, you idiot, and hide! This is YOUR HOUSE. You must know great places to hide in it! Put! the! phone! down!

Alas, the girl doesn’t take my advice.

I wonder how many movies would actually be left, if the protagonist instantly whirled and took off like a scalded cat if someone pointed a gun at them, or said “Are you out of your mind?” when someone in their group suggested splitting up to explore the haunted house?

What’s your favorite (or should that be least favorite?) moment, when a character in a movie did something ridiculous despite all your good advice?

Please Feel Free to Share:


3 thoughts on “How to survive the zombie apocalypse”

  1. In the TV show Supernatural, I have about a thousand of those moments. The humans always go /towards/ the suspicious noise. They always ignore the multiple warning signs… and sometimes there are those kids who go into a ‘haunted house’ that’s actually haunted and yes, they split up. xD

    Also, in the show Doctor Who, the very first episode of the 2005 version, actually, (Rose) is similar. I can no longer rewatch it with friends anymore, partially because I say half of the lines along with the characters, but mostly because I keep commenting on this one scene at the beginning. She’s looking for this guy Wilfred after the shop is closing up and goes INTO the dark room filled with about a hundred manikins after hearing a weird scuffling noise. And then she keeps on hearing the noise, goes FURTHER into the room even after the door clangs shut behind her, (and locks), keeps asking if its Wilfred. And then once the manikins MOVE, she thinks they’re people dressed up playing a prank on her. Until the Doctor comes and rescues her of course; but still, it was rather ridiculous. Thankfully she turned out to be a much better companion than that scene had suggested. And became much more intelligent, as well.

    It’s frustrating when characters never listen to you, isn’t it?

  2. Oh, yeah. I haven’t watched all the Dr. Who seasons by any means, but I remember that episode, and I was right there with you: Rose! Hello! EVIL MANIKINS!

  3. Ahaha, you should. That’s one of my top three shows of all times (not including anime)

    I haven’t watched Old Who, but I’ve watched all of the newer version (9th Doctor to Eleventh Doctor) and am eagerly awaiting March when it starts up again.

    If you want to know more about Sherlock, Doctor Who, or Supernatural, I can email you pages long rants about them! I recommend you don’t, though. You’ve been warned. XD

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top