I have no desire to go on a book tour —

And this is why!

Only it’s a funnier post than I would have written — starting from the very first line:

“There are a number of reasons authors such as myself go on book tours, all of them basically stupid.”

Okay, surely I’m not the only person who smiled at that? And the rest of the post, written by Adam Mansbach, who is in fact on a book tour with his new novel, RAGE IS BACK, which I’d never heard of. In case you haven’t heard of it either and, after reading this post, are curious, Amazon says:

“In this mind-bending journey through a subterranean world of epic heroes, villains, and eccentrics, Adam Mansbach balances an intricately plot­ted, high-stakes caper with a wildly inventive tale of time travel and shamanism, prodigal fathers and sons, and the hilariously intertwined realms of art, crime, and spirituality. Moving throughout New York City’s unseen com­munities, from the tunnel camps of the Mole People to the drug dens of Crown Heights, Rage Is Back is a kaleidoscopic tour de force from a writer at the top of his game.”

Which makes it sound kind of interesting, but doesn’t actually make me want to rush out and buy the book.

But the blog post almost does. Here, for example, is (part of) Mansbach’s take on a publisher’s typical publicity strategy:

“Send the author to bookstores in various cities, in the hopes that a local plutocrat might happen to wander by, glance through the plate glass window, notice that a person is standing inside reading aloud from a book, and be moved to come in and purchase 235 copies, thus amortizing the cost of the author’s flight and hotel.”

Which is funny! Okay, well, I thought so.

Anyway, tongue in cheek as this post is, it’s still pretty well expresses why I’m not wildly keen on setting up readings. Unless a bookstore REALLY promoted the event. Maybe someday!

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